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Day 27 – Hand to God.

I won’t lie. Yes, my first shoot starts tomorrow and i am nervous as heck. There’s a reason some people call me the Zen Jain. But nerves before a big undertaking like this were a given. The fact that I’m writing this at 3:26 is proof of that. On paper, I know my jobs but I have no idea how it will go once the rubber hits the road. I also can’t figure out where i should step in and where I should stay out of people’s way. I hate people who are like “Ma’am! Ma’am! I know the answer!” Then are tripping over each other to hand in a piece of paper. But that’s always been my struggle, even as a person. I think I’ll stick to what got me bullets from Marcus Stern – keep your head down, do your work, don’t play the blame game. I’d rather say sorry with my head down than throw someone under the bus. I’ve been under that bus and the view is not nice. If at the end of the day, my work still doesn’t impress the ones who need to be impressed, then, i guess we will have to rethink the whole living on thing. Just kidding, folks! Hang up on the suicide hotline.

Now that i’m at home and it’s quiet, all these kind of thoughts and doubts and concerns are rushing to my mind. But the day, though it started at 2, was very hectic and exciting. Sanjay Mishra, Maya Sarao, Namit Das and Chaitanya rehearsed their scenes, had a few smokes and got their looks for tomorrow done. @mrrajatkapoor’s transformed before our eyes, ‘stache and all. As i’ve honestly not seen Maya’s previous work, not even her audition videos, I was very pleasantly surprised by her. There’s something about her that draws the eye. Plus, all day she was nice to me and didn’t ask me to fetch her a lighter or anything. Small joys. And then there’s something so sweet and open about Namit. I do hope first impressions last in this case.

The alarm was set for 5am but I beat it by almost 2 hours. The tap dancing butterflies won’t let me sleep. So might as well revise. Haven’t used the R word since school.

See you tomorrow  later today with more from Ankhon Dekhi. This time from the sets!

Mansi

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About Mansi Nira Jain

Writer. Director. Traveller. Twitter and Instagram - @mansinirajain.

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